A year gone by . . . .

It's amazing to think that it's been a whole year since I've been out of the military. Yesterday at church we had a "God and Country" day, where the active and veteran military folk were recognized for their service; and it brought so many memories, both for Jeremy and me. I had a couple of tear-jerking moments where I had to remember hard things I've been through, in order to give the thanks that i wanted to make sure did not slip through my fingers.

My husband has been an amazing tear-soaked pillow that I've buried my face into during the hardest times in my life. What could be so hard for a 25 year old you ask? Well, being separated when we were only 9-months married to go to a combat zone in Iraq. I was angry with God for sending me- I thought that was it. "Here it where it all ends..." Pretty dramatic, huh? But for me this was so tough. I did not want to go. But in the end I had to. And Jeremy encouraged me. He told me that God would take care of me. And He did.

But how hard must that have been for him, I've thought about recently. To be a husband, and a man. To want to protect me, yet being out of reach, just so he could only rely on the Lord to take care of me.

I went through so much, both spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically while over there. And it was 5 months, definitely not as long as many. But what I learned there was detrimental. And I wouldn't take it back, as much as I hated it. Because what I learned over there was that no matter how alone you feel, how scared you are, and how upset you are- God is there. When I didn't have Jeremy to cling to, or my family, or my friends. He was always there. He promised He would never leave me nor forsake me. And He kept His promise. I clung to Him like a little girl clings to her father when she's scared. He was my protector, my fortress, and my deliverer. The lesson I learned is that sometimes God takes you through things, that we don't necessarily want to go through-sometimes we even fight it, but He (if we allow Him) is there with us. And He has a plan for us. And during that time all I had was Him- and He knew that. I experienced that most intimate moments with My Creator.

So I thank God that I went to Balad AB, Iraq. Not because I became a better airman, or gained more knowledge, or even experience- but because there I drew closer to God. He showed me that when I am weak, He is strong, and was my strength. I did things I never thought I could, because He did them in me. And I also thank Jeremy for being strong for me, when I wasn't. Because of this we're stronger as a marriage. Thank you Lord!


On a BlackHawk with my Intel colleagues.
With my praise & worship team buddies. "Sing to the Lord for He is good!" Back in Germany, right off the plane with my hubby! Just in time to celebrate his birthday!